The allure

To start again..... is impossible. The thought caresses my membrane everyday, and everyday I shove it away as impossible. Yet, it keeps coming back- an incessant fly bent on wrestling with me. Its unnatural, this thought, of leaving behind all the emotions, and striking a bell to sound the advent of a new day- ground zero. No etches in the sand, no scars on the mind, just the bliss of the beginning... unnatural these words that even consider it, unnatural this thought that even entertains it. How can one emotion forget the last, be unaffected by what came before? Impossible.

Yet this buzzing around my mind continues, a droning echo, it leaves me restless all night, leaves my lips dry in the morning, a cold swet of possibility lines back at all times. I am famished by its hunger, I yearn for its arrival. But there is nothing more to come other than the sad thought that will build upon this sad thought. With each hopeful breath, the wall becomes ever-harder to climb.