Optics6

The decision is pretty close at hand I feel. I haven't shaved in a week, haven't had a hairct in a month and a half- I look like a man who has something on his mind. And I do.

But I can feel that the day is close at hand. I am just experiencing last minute second thoughts, and unfortunately, delaying is not helpingme because time is not on my side. If I decide to wait till a future date that would make my decision easier, then the wait till then and the wait after it seems too long. So I am leaning towards making the decision earlier than later, cutting down on all the waiting. But is that anyway to think, really? I mean it sounds like a good idea but as soon as my conscience gets a whiff of it, the decision is much harder. Now or later- that is the question. Its a question classified as indecision.

One one side of the fence, we have freedom, we have rides along the peripherie, we have relief. On the other side we have despair, struggle and waiting. Which is the way to go? Is it not just easier to end the misery, or should one think of the bigger picture, the larger struggle. Have I learnt or have I learnt and forgotten? That too is the question.

Shall I not linger a while longer and leave on my terms? Or will I show mercy on myself? The questions abound. The answer shall be revealed in an instant, an instant that lies on the surface of a memo just 87 words long- a solution that would bury the questions forever, till the next time circumstance gives them cause to rise.