Everyday my resolve gets stronger, everyday I am faced with defeat

There is nothing worse than the defeat brought on by circumstance. For instance, were it not up to my circumstances, I would walk into work tomorrow and slam my resignation down on my boss' desk. Were it not for circumstance, I would be on the first flight out of this country, no stops, straight to Toronto. Were it not for circumstance, I would be leaving in a few days to attend a friend's wedding, a friend I met again after 16 years, a friend who I realised is a brother to me.

Were it not for circumstance- that uncanny quirk of existence that strangles a man while he jogs along happily, while seemingly, "life goes on".

If reality is a bitch that bites, then circumstance is the bone she is biting at. With each swipe reality brings us closer to our circumstances, suffocating us till we can take no more, till we actually hate our reality, ready to substitute any other in its place.

Daydreaming, another quirk of existence is our waking shield against circusmtance. I, nay we, dream of flying away and stopping in cities like Amsterdam, Paris, Vienna, Sydney and Kingston, forgetting our circusmtances for a second, fleeing away from reality. We dream of lazy afternoons, Roots concerts, hikes through the forest forgetting all along that our circumstances will probably not allow us to take seven days off to hike in the British Columbia jungle, it will not afford us the opportunity to sip hot cacao as we have our feet pedicured deep within a Thai jungle, on the edge of an exclusive resprt. Circumstance shall stop us from all that. Yet, we daydream.

I am ashamed to have told you this. I feel myself being the harbinger of grave news, of bringing you a realisation that only time should reveal to each person, over time. But I can hold the truth no longer. I cannot let the lament of my own circumstances hinder me from cautioning you. Do not dream dear friends, for it is just a fleeting fancy- it is a lie, in fact. It is packaged for your senses so perfectly, but it is built on your most carnal desires, desires that always have and always will be sidelined when your circumstances have their say.

Accept defeat, like I have. There is no fighting the urge. The glass is half empty, there is no doubt. Delude yourself if you must, that too is a product of your circumstance.