Reminding me of self

You know what surprises me sometimes, the humanity of creatures not human. I know this quality exists in all creatures, I'm no fool. But sometimes, the bluntness and obviousness surprises me. Take this small cockroach for example, common in this season in the desert regions. A few minutes ago, he flashed through the tiles and dissappeared behind my computer. He ran with such feriocity that I could almost predict how fast he would come climbing up the wall and appear from behind my computer. And there he was, just as I thought about it, there he was. As he made his way up the steep wall though, his pace slowed. Slowly, painstakingly, he lost his line of travel, started zigzagging a bit, like a man stumbling up an impossible cliff, exhausted but focused on his goal. Then, closer to the roof, unbeknowest to him that my eyes were fixed upon his travels, his pace picked up- a renewed vigour in his crawl, a spurt of hope. He got there with a bolt. For a few seconds, he scaled to the left and to the right, then he did again. As if completely lost and unable to understand his surroundings, he started on his way back down, having accomplished nothing. Or perhaps it was a dare by his buddies, a ruse to get him away from the leftover pizza on the coffee table. Or perhaps he was merely being human, focused on something so resolutely that nothing else mattered, only to find out that his ultimate goal held nothing for him- the grass was more greener in the lower regions, the going a bit easier.

Hurt pride proclaiming his every stride, he returns to the ground. It takes some longer than others, but they all get there whether we want to or not. It'll be the same with me.