down the rabbit hole..

Twenty four years, two months, eight days, eleven hours, twenty minutes and ten seconds ago, I arrived here, unknowing and indifferent. Since then, much life has passed in front of me in what feels like a second, yet it would seem this second expands far into thedepths of eternity, making the amalgamation of events which form my very existence seem close to heart, yet light-years away at the same time. Though happy and content with the life I have and continue to experience, sadness lingers in the background, sometimes finding a way to superimpose itself onto life, and adding a sense of mourning toward people and events passed. Sadness permeates life; it has been the springboard of the most famous tragic plays and stories ever told. It is funny how these things work out.

Life, it is shapeless, formless, a water stain on the floor with no definite pattern, no predictability. It may seem to some that to avoid it is as futile as dodging raindrops.Yet there are those gifted throughout our lives that we see, blessed, and filled with allthe great rewards that we so desperately try to emulate through good work, correct behaviour, and yet, life still happens. Some of us lose our jobs, some of us get sick,and some of us die very tragically. However, at the same rate, we try; we get up every morning and face the day anew. There are those who see it as a starting point that is fresh, and those of us who carry the same baggage into each day, unsuccessfully trying to escape what we experienced the day before.

Life revolves around us, like fire flies dancing in the peripheral of our vision. We try to grasp at it, to hold it and will our shape into it, making it a thing that we can call our own; something that we can understand and relate with. However, much like the fireflies, we grasp at it, catching them in ourhands, and slowly open them to find that we have caught thin air. Much like Alice in Through the Looking Glass found herself in a shop that seemed very much like a dream: "The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things-- but the oddest part of it all was, that whenever she looked hard at any shelf, to make out exactly what it had on it, that particular shelf was always quite empty: though the others round it were crowded as full as they could hold." (Carroll)