Clean houses

for the past few days, me and my dad have been cleaning up around the house so that it looks nice and atleast clean when the rest of the family comes home today. However, I was sitting on the couch today looking at the house and how clean it was, and I couldn't help thinking how much I hate clean houses. Spick and span homes piss me off. They look so impersonal. So utterly devoid of life.

To me, a normal, not necessarily dirty, but normal room is much more inviting than a clean one. It shows me signs of life. A slightly overturned slipper can tell you so much about a person, an unmade bed can tell you what side they like to sleep on. These are not amazing things, they are certainly not things you tend to look for, but to me, they matter cuz it shows me the real person i am visiting rather than a more sanitized version.

I was watching 'Six Feet Under' a few weeks ago, and in the first episode of the show itself, one character remarks how sanitized our world is. Its as if a layer of film has been draped over everything to hide its ugliness. Death is sanitized. Feelings and thoughts are sanitized. Life ends up being a short breath and whiff of detergent.

I want to experience life as it happens around me. Next time, you walk out, just walk by trees and plants while touching them, i mean really feeling them on ur fingers... the feeling is exhilarating. To feel with your fingers, to feel in itself is a blessing. Yet, we seem to want to protect ourselves from it.

It's funny how you can see a clean cut person in a suit or just dressed professionally, lookin' like they got their shyt all together. But, you never know what kinda issues and weights they're carrying on their shoulders, on their hearts, on their minds because they wear a painted smile -- and their demeanor is appropriate for that particular time & place. Yet, when they get home, they fall apart, they burn dinner, or drink 10 shots, or smoke 2 blunts,  or kick the dog & beat the kids.

The world continues to get cosmetic as we lose sight of our morals, our values and true feelings. Layer after layer of botox makes us feel better; as if this life is meant to be spent worrying about what someone else might say about us. We try to fit into someone else's clean world while losing sight of ourselves, of our own soul that suffocates away as we smile our broad smiles and welcome people to our humble abodes.

zamana kya kahega?

it's a sad fucking world indeed.